relationship advice from a & a

Hi guys!

As Adam and I celebrate our 10 years together, I wanted to share with you some relationship advice we’ve gathered over the years! There are a gazillion things that can help develop a happy and healthy love life, but we wrote down a couple things that we thought are truly valuable when being in a long-term relationship. There's no denying it— relationships are hard work. But, when you find someone you want to be with, all that hard work becomes infinitely worth it. Whether if it’s a friendship, or any other relationship, it takes two to make it work.

We’ve been together for over 10 years (can you believe we were 14 years old when we met??) and we are honestly just so lucky to have each other in our lives. Whether you’re just beginning a new relationship or if you’ve been in one for long-term, keep reading to hear about how we’ve managed to stay happily together for 10 years!

Key to a happy, long lasting relationship:

1. Communication

Communication is key. As cliché as it sounds, it is so important. Adam and I have been together for over 10 years and we talk to each other about anything and everything. The good and the bad. Keep talking to each other regardless of how busy you are - you should never be too busy to find out how your significant other’s day’s been or how they’re doing. By communicating even with busy schedules, you can show that you really care about them by listening and responding. Most importantly, when you are talking to them one on one, don’t look at your phone, don’t be distracted; listen to them and let them actually see that you deeply care about them.

It doesn’t mean you need to talk to them 24/7 or text them whenever they are not with you, but remembering and knowing their daily schedules, any big events, or project deadlines coming up, by communicating, it will allow you be aware of what they may be going through (physically and emotionally) and understand them if they are stressed and need your support.

2. Compromise

Definitely easier said than done but compromise. You are two human beings with two different minds, of course you will have things that you won’t see eye to eye. Don’t be stubborn— even if you believe your idea is better than theirs, listen to them and try to understand why they think the way they do and maybe you guys can find a middle ground? I believe one of the main reasons why Adam and I work well is because we genuinely want the best for each other and we end up compromising without even realizing.

3. Full transparency + no secrets = Trust

I don’t know if everyone is going to agree on this and it will probably depend on your personality but I tell Adam everything and anything. Even if it’s something small that’s not even considered a secret I like to let him know. For example, if I felt weird about something we both talked about or if someone hit on me at work or whatnot, I tell Adam. Maybe it’s my personality, maybe I just like sharing how I feel and what happened during my day but I like transparency. That way he won’t feel like I’m holding back on something and know that I will tell him anything if something is off.

Adam and I also have each other’s phone passwords, even face recognitions, and allow each other to go on each other’s phones. I know some may think it’s too much, that it is an invasion of privacy, but this is what we are comfortable with. Even though we have each other’s phone passwords, that doesn’t mean we’re going around snooping and looking at every nook and cranny to find something. It just means that we trust each other enough to go on our phones without feeling like we are overstepping.

4. Keep things interesting

Keep flirting. I know it sounds weird but even after years of being together, we continue to flirt, tease, and have fun with each other. Sometimes I just laugh my head off because Adam made a stupid joke and fall in love with him again, right then and there.

We also work hard to dedicate time to doing things together because even though we talk to each other everyday, it's really important that we continue to go out of our way for each other. It definitely helps that we have such incredible chemistry, in the bedroom and out— we love fooling around and keeping things alive.

Don’t stop going on dates. Every now and then we plan out a lil “date”. That could mean dressing up a bit, going to a happy hour and grabbing dinner at a restaurant, a movie marathon on our couch with some delicious snacks, beer tasting at home, or my personal favorite, a picnic at a park or a beach with easy-to-make food from home (or get hotdogs from Costco for $1.50! I love that).

One of our many picnic dates! So easy, fun, and it’s so nice to be out of the house

5. Fight often. But after, forgive and move on

In a relationship you are bound to fight and argue. The first few years of our relationship, we fought so much, it was crazy. You will be together with your bae for a long time so learning to fight and solving conflicts together will only grow your relationship. As you fight, tell one another why you are mad or upset, communicate, and then apologize even if you KNOW you are right. It goes an incredibly long way in reminding your s.o. that even though you or they may be upset with this one thing, you love them and you’d never purposely try to upset them.

And then after a fight, learn to forgive and move on. Holding grudges from the past will only hurt the both of you. These little things build up a lot of resentment so don't let things build. It’s definitely something we have to work on continuously and remind ourselves, but as long as we are trying, I think it’s a good first step.

6. Work on yourself

I know we’re all here to see what can improve your relationship with your significant other but don't forget to work on your relationship with the most precious person: yourself. Having your own passion, hobby, or things you like doing by yourself will make you feel fulfilled and not completely depend on your partner for everything— it give you space. You don’t need to spend every waking second together, having “you time” will give each other the time to do things we love by ourselves.

For example, when he wants to hang out with his friends, let him have fun and don’t give him a hard time. He might want to cool off the week by having a cold one with the boys and during that time, you can catch up on your Netflix show, paint, online shop, or anything! I love that Adam also encourages me to go out with my friends and have a good time. While we love each other very much and try to spend lots of quality time together, we both understand the importance of independence and nurturing our personal lives.

7. Motivate each other and be each other’s biggest support system and inspiration

As each other’s hype person, Adam and I continue to motivate and support each other for everything we set our minds to. Whether it’s small or big, work related or passion related, we encourage one another to do better and compliment each other for things we accomplish. It’s really reassuring to have someone by my side who cheers me on and even plan things out with me to improve, and I love doing the same for him. Seeing Adam work as hard as he does in his job and his passion for music, it inspires me to work hard and share what I do with him that much sweeter.

8. Love, love, love.

He’s my first person I want to call when I hear good news, the person I want to run to when I’m sad, the person I want to text when I need a good laugh at work when I’m bored, and the person I can depend on with my whole heart.

Being each other’s best friends has been something that we both cherish and we have the greatest time when we are together. Adam and I joke around so much, we tease, have weird pet names for each other, fool around, and sometimes he literally chases me around the house! LOL. But all joking aside, he’s my person. I know he loves me and will do anything to protect me. I am so truly blessed to be with someone who I love but also is my favorite person in the whole world that I want to spill all the tea to.

To finish off this blog, I want to let you know that every relationship is different. Our relationship advice might work for us and others but it might not work for you. If you find something that works for you and your bae, don't switch it up just because our way is different from yours. Every personality is unique and as long as you and your s.o. try your best to keep your flame going, you will have your happily ever after, too.

Xx,

Amie